8/20/04
Dear TwinkleGrammers,
I was recently in Minnesota changing my shoes to begin a workout at Curves (been a member since last January) when a young woman walks by me, cheeks aglow from having just finished her thirty-minute rotations. We make brief eye contact. I smile and she smiles back. (The beginning line and the finish line--oh, the influence of the Olympics!)
"I feel so lazy today," she says as she bends down to untie her shoes.
"Lazy? You just finished working out," I respond, executing a fabulous bow to my right shoelace that will not--absolutely will not--come untied, trip me and kill me on my way to my workout. (Olympic bow tying!)
"Oh, I know, but still, I feel so lazy." She draws and releases a deep breath at the end of her statement as she changes shoes. "I don't even want to go home."
"Oh? Kids there?" I ask, then chuckle.
"Yes." She says the word as though embarrassed to admit that's why she doesn't want to return to her neighborhood.
"How many? How old?"
She goes on to tell me about her three rascally children--all under the age of six--her voice becoming more animated as she talks about them.
"So, let's see," I say as I sit up from having tied my second shoe, a workout of its own, "you are a full-time, stay-at-home mom raising three energetic children under six years of age and you've just finished a thirty-minute workout, and you say you feel lazy?"
"Yes."
"Maybe you're just relaxed for a change. You looked relaxed to me."
"Relaxed?" She looks like I've just spoken a word in Greek. (Yet another Olympic influence.)
"Yes, relaxed. A feeling of … relaxation. Relaxed as in your heart isn't racing and you're shoulders aren't cemented to the bottom of your earlobes and you feel quiet inside."
Pause.
"I guess I *do* feel relaxed," she says. "But I should feel more ambitious."
My turn to pause.
"You know," I say, studying her soft, slightly-freckled face, "as a society we are so revved up all the time that sometimes I don't think we know the difference anymore between relaxed and lazy. If you were truly lazy, you sure wouldn't be HERE!"
Quiet thoughtful pause while her eyes roll up into that thinking space high above, then roll back down to look at me. Head tilt. "I guess you're right!" she says. "And you know, I don't think I *do* know how to relax anymore."
"Oh, I think you do," I say, "since you're doing it now. But sadly you feel too guilty to enjoy it."
L-o-n-g quiet pause.
I raise my right hand high in the air and point two fingers, then slowly lower them straight at her, as though I am a fairy godmother rather than a fluffy mid-life woman dressed in ratty clothing (read lose clothing so I can bend over--mostly) brandishing a magic wand rather than age-spotted arms, hands and fingers. "I herewith give you permission to enjoy being relaxed as long as humanly possible before you walk in your front door." She smiles. "I command you to take two more deep breaths and enjoy them," I say, feeling my magic wand turn into a scepter. Me leading the way, her following right along, together we slowly inhale and exhale then repeat.
"Do you have to go straight home?" I ask.
She looks at her wristwatch. "No!" she says enthusiastically--a bit too enthusiastically, her kids probably would think.
"Then I command you to relax and go do something relaxing up until the very last moment you have to return."
"I *will*," she says brightly. "THANK YOU!" Then, out the door she floats on the wings of relaxation, gym bag in hand.
I smile, feel wise, happy about passing along a grace.
Then I feel … lazy. LAZY! Do I REALLY have to go work OUT? Isn't it a time for relaxation? (All that Olympic deep breathing, you know.)
But wait: for everything there is a season and I had just enjoyed a complete day of relaxation before arriving--which is WHY I was able to PASS ON THE WISDOM OF RELAXATION. If you don't take time to relax yourself, you become nearly incapable of calming the waters around you. If you don't take time to relax, when you do relax, you will feel too guilty to not only recognize it, but to enjoy the grace of refreshment. (And yes, I did go work out before heading back to my temporary home to return to my writing project.)
And so I ask you, Dear TwinkleGrammers, do you know the difference between the states of lazy and relaxed? Take stock of your current condition. Is it time for you to change gears?
Until we chat again,
Charlene
PS I will definitely be changing gears in a couple weeks since I'll be heading out on a nearly month-long book tour around the country. Stay tuned for a SPECIAL EDITION TwinkleGram telling you all about it!
