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An every-so-often installment of ongoing sparkling thoughts.
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08/24/06 TwinkleGram from Charlene The day after the TSA (or Federal Government, or FAA, or all of the afore mentioned) decided I could not travel with my lip gloss was the day I began to develop a criminal mind. It's not that I WANTED to turn toward the clandestine, but I just couldn't stop myself. Thank goodness they've since relented and decided a Chap Stick ("solid lipstick") is okay, otherwise I might be incarcerated. You see, I was flying to Memphis TN the Day After The Big Gel/Liquid Debacle. (And let me just send a HUGE Hel-LO to you WILD and wonderful Dyersburg ladies!) Thank GOODNESS it was the day after or I'd still be screaming about the confiscation of my cosmetics. At least I had a day to figure out a plan, which was: Fed-Ex your face, Charlene (well, you know what I mean) in case the airline loses your luggage containing all of your deliciously smeary creams, gels, beautifying colors and general things we're told some people want to blow things up with— although I doubt they'd spend cosmetic-counter kinds of money to do so. You know, all the authorities have to do is tell you that you cannot board with liquid (I travel with a giant Tupperware container full of water everywhere I go and drain it at least once) and I'm so thirsty I can't think straight, or crooked, or even slightly bendy. (Only criminal, it seems.) All they have to do is say no lip gloss (which I apply many times a day) and my lips feel like I've been in the desert for years. So, there I am sitting aboard an airplane with nothing to drink and dry lips, praying my face awaits me on "the other side." I'm sequestered and feeling so dehydrated that I'm afraid to turn on the blower for fear it'll send me sailing throughout the fuselage like the dry twig I am. (Okay, clunking throughout the fuselage like the giant dry tree trunk I am, but again, you know what I mean.) And then it began. How can I legally (maybe) beat the system and keep my lips from cracking, my body from shriveling up even more than it already has? I mean my mind was going two-forty. Here are a few of the things it came up with. 1) I'll put a blob of lip gloss behind my ear and use as necessary when nobody's looking. They'll never find it there. 2) I'll travel with a salami sandwich which I will not eat but will use to smear its greasy essence on my lips when I get desperate. 3) I'll travel with a sack lunch of salami AND orange quarters which I will squeeze into my mouth. Sure, they serve drinks on airlines, but not always. Sometimes turbulence keeps them from running the drink cart. You push away from the gate and are told you won't take off for 45 minutes, during which time they don't serve drinks. I'm telling you, it's a long, dry time to dream stuff up like this! Yesterday it occurred to me that I've had a "thing" going with my lips lately. While in Minnesota working on Dearest Dorothy #6 (If Not Now, When?) I decided to meet a friend for lunch. The drive down the windy hill takes full concentration and of course my lips were dry because they always are, so I reached into my handbag, extracted (by Braille method so as to keep my eyes on the road) my lip gloss and smeared it (again, the Braille application) several times over and around them. Ahhhh. Better give it one more go-around (smear- smear), thinks I, since eating will soon eradicate any trace of moisture. Eventually I arrive at my destination, park the car in front of the restaurant and take a quick peek in the rearview mirror. To my horror I discovered I had not grabbed my lip GLOSS, I had grabbed my lipstick. The dark red one. The one that has "lasting power"— which means I looked like a two-year old who'd applied her mom's lipstick all over the lower half of her face! The lines were jagged and way above, below and beyond my smile. I laughed out loud and thought, well, my friend is having a stressful day so I'll just leave it on and give her a grin. And then the waitress came to get my iced tea order. "And by the way, I KNOW my lips look like this," I say defensively to her wide- eyed self. "It was an accident and now it's going to be a joke." Not to this little miss cutesy. I could almost hear her thoughts out loud. "Old ladies are odd." As I think about all the time I spend beautifying and hydrating my lips, I wonder how proportionate it is to the time I spend thinking about the words that spew out of them. Hm. Psalm 63:2 (MES) says, So here I am in the place of worship, eyes open, drinking in your strength and glory. In your generous love I am really living at last! My lips brim praises like fountains. I bless you every time I take a breath; My arms wave like banners of praise to you. Thank you, Lord, for reminding me that there are important and holy purposes for my lips, which you have created, which do not require anything but sincerity. Amen. Well, I hope you've enjoyed my latest absurd adventure. I encourage you to spend a little time today pondering what passes through your moistened or parched lips when they're yammering. Oh, to think it might be praises brimming like fountains—for God and everyone you treasure in your life! Please feel free to wing this around to anyone you think might need the grin or reminder. For a list of my speaking topics visit www.dontmissyourlife.com/book.html Come Cruise With Me Subscribe to the TwinkleGram DEAREST DOROTHY, MERRY EVERYTHING! coming October 31st! Inquiring minds want to know: What's going to happen with the annual Christmas party that used to be held out at Crooked Creek Farm? Is Jacob in town again? What about Edward Showalter and Nellie Ruth McGregor? Upcoming Appearances (before The November Book Tour) Thank you, TwinkleGrammers, for continuing to allow me to share my thoughts with you. Do not ever hesitate to share some back! Peace and grins, Charlene Ann Baumbich Web site: http://www.welcometopartonville.com TwinkleGram Archives 6/2/04 | 8/20/04 | 10/08/04 | 10/25/04 | 12/14/04 | 1/19/05 | 3/4/05 | 4/21/05 | 6/13/05 Don't forget to check in every once in a while to see what’s on Charlene’s mind. From the profound to the pathetic, she's happy to have her own non-edited corner in which to ramble on about whatever she'd like whenever the mood strikes her - which might be sooner or later! Or, subscribe to the TwinkleGram and have it delivered fresh to your email - just click the "Subscribe to the TwinkleGram" link at the top of this page. ©Notice: Materials on this page are © by Charlene Baumbich 2003-2005 |
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